Family Lessons 121: Adultery and Illegitimacy

My 5x great-grandfather James Ayrey (later spelt 'Airey') married Isabella Parker at Heversham, Westmorland, in 1793. She was a relatively old 27, and he was older still at 39. They went on to have eight children, through one of whom I am descended. Yet it may not have been a happy marriage. In-between their first and second child, Bella had another, out of wedlock. The baptism entry at Lancaster Parish church stating, tersely:

3 Apr 1796 Jane Ayrey* - Illegte. dr of Bella Ayrey

The father’s identity is unknown, though nine months after Jane’s birth, she has another daughter, this time, with her husband:

20 Dec 1796 Dorothy Ayrey - Dr. of James Ayrey & Bella (Baptisms: St Mary, Lancaster, Lancashire, England).

Divorce was difficult in their day, so the continuation of the marriage and conjugal relations does not prove a restoration in the relationship nor a rekindling of love. Whether she was unhappy with her older husband, or whether she was grown used to the freedom of singleness, one cannot say. There might be a little clue, however, in the date of their firstborn.

They married on 21 July, but the first child, John, was born only six months later at Heversham on 26 January, 1794. Evidently, the pair enjoyed physical relations before they were wed, which was then called fornication. This might indicate that neither held the married state in particularly high regard. Then, as now, it was harder for a woman to conceal infidelity than a man, so we have little reason to suppose that James’ fidelity was much better than his wife’s.

What became of poor little Jane the records do not say. I suspect she was not particularly welcome at the family home at Bowram Farm, Scotforth. There is a record pertaining to Warton, not far from Lancaster from 29 June 1817 regarding the baptism of another little girl, also called Jane:

Jane Airey - Daughter of Jane Airey, single woman

Might this Jane Airey have been the product of Bella’s affair? One cannot speculate, but unhappy marriages often create unhappy children as well as spouses; casual fornication may sometimes lead to adulterous consequences. One of the joys of the Christian gospel is the adoption by God of the sinner. Paul reminds the Ephesians in 1:5:

…having predestined us to adoption as sons by Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will…

Our first father lost the family estates and our first mother heeded other voices. Yet in Christ, the lost are found, the impoverished are made heirs, the orphan is adopted and the illegitimate are justified. My poor 5th great-aunt was likely cast out because of my grandparents’ actions and reactions, possibly setting her on the same road to a similar moral incontinence. It is a pity, truly, but the Bible says to her, and all others:

But when the fullness of the time had come, God sent forth His Son, born of a woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, that we might receive the adoption as sons. And because you are sons, God has sent forth the Spirit of His Son into your hearts, crying out, “Abba, Father!” -Galatians 4:4-6, New King James Version

*One source calls her Jenny