Martin Bottom: A New White Suit

Dear Praying Friends and Generous Supporters,

My faith has taken something of a battering these past weeks. As a prophet with apostolic authority, you know I like to wear a $1950 white suit, especially when I preach abroad, as foreign types seem to respect me for it. It also reminds them that I am the closest thing to an angel of light that most of them will ever encounter. The problem is that it keeps getting dirty. As a prophet with apostolic authority, I obviously commanded no more dirt to touch me or besmirch my beautiful clothing. I prophesied over it, I reminded it of my authority, I declared over it, but still it remained dirty and even got worse, especially under the arm pits. Why would my God allow such a thing? Why would he allow me, his appointed messenger, to suffer such indignity? I preach so eloquently about him, I prophesy and perform miracles in his name, so why won’t he keep me clean? My faith took a battering until I heard the word of the Lord just for me. He told me that, as a prophet with apostolic authority, I should buy a new suit each time I go preaching. I was being disobedient by wearing old garments.

“You are my ambassador; you must look great all the time. Throw away those old garments, and wear new”.

Our church treasurer, who seemed unhappy at the prospect of forking our for a new $1950 suit every 1-2 weeks, mumbled something about the Bible. So I went onto an internet search engine and found a website that has all the Bible on it. I searched ‘new clothing’ and sure enough, God confirmed it! Look what came up:

To each of them he gave new clothing, but to Benjamin he gave three hundred shekels of silver and five sets of clothes. Genesis 45:22

Praise the lord!

BE BLESSED! I certainly am.

Prophet Adam Arsden,

Martin Bottom Community Church, Rubble Valley