Pickwick Original English Tea

I arrived at my Dutch hotel looking forward to a nice cup of tea. The day’s travel had been wearisome and the walk from the station had been hot. To my delight, there was a couple of Earl Grey teabags next to the little kettle. To my horror, there was no milk. The room was even equipped with its own, full-sized fridge, but there was none in there either. I nipped out at once to find a shop which sold milk, suspecting that the Dutch people had succumbed to that most barbaric of practices: drinking tea with no milk. Sure enough, and after a 15-minute search, I returned with a small carton of Biologische halfolle melk. There was a picture of a cow’s head on it, so I hoped it was indeed milk; the alternatives ranged from the unpleasant to the unspeakable. The resulting tea was most acceptable, and well rewarded both the expense and delay.

Few hotels now clean a guest’s room each day unless he especially requests it. I am not a dirty fellow, so I play along with this pretence of saving the environment. Nevertheless, the absence of the housekeeping staff mean that the ration of two Earl Grey bags does not get topped up. This left me, after my first night, in the ironic position of having milk but no tea. I requested extra bags from reception staff, who looked puzzled as they handed over the carefully counted ration of two more doses. I resolved to buy my own from then on.

I bought a box of Pickwick Original English Tea at a good price in a mini-mart around the corner. The company claims to date to 1753, but I had never heard of it. On its packaging, it showed an Olde Worlde couple riding a horse-drawn carriage with London in the background. I looked it up online:

Pickwick English Zwarte Thee

English is onze populairste theesoort en staat bekend om zijn volle, evenwichtige smaak. Deze klassieke zwarte thee bestaat uit een zorgvuldig samengestelde blend van meerdere theesoorten afkomstig uit de beste theelanden ter wereld…

I suspect that this brand has little to do with Mother England, and, being owned by an Amsterdam-based company, it is really a Duch invention, the image of Old England a clever marketing strategy. Further research showed the countries in which this tea may be purchased:

The Netherlands

Hungary

Belgium

France

Ukraine

Czech Republic

Denmark

Slovakia

Where is His Majesty King Charles’ English subjects’ opportunity to enjoy a sip of this traditional, English beverage? Abroad, is the answer. It all rather amused me. As an Englishman of conservative values and traditional tastes, I must fly to Holland to enjoy this fêted national delicacy.

100-200 years ago, British missionaries went around the world bringing the gospel of Christ to peoples and tribes who had been ignorant of it for two millennia. Although some UK-based missionaries still serve, it is fair to say that England in particular now needs missionary attention. False religion prospers, woke ideology reigns, godless materialism pervades. The churches are weak, the leaders are spineless and the average Christian silent. Truly, a Briton going abroad is more likely to hear the gospel and Christ’s name in the Americas, or Asia, or Oceana than on his own street. The English might speak a version of the language of the King James Bible, but scarcely any will have bothered reading it. Going abroad, I discovered Pickwick’s Original English Tea. As my fellow countrymen fly off each year, I trust they will find something, or even Someone, even more precious.

How then shall they call on Him in whom they have not believed? And how shall they believe in Him of whom they have not heard? And how shall they hear without a preacher? Romans 10:14

“Look to Me, and be saved, All you ends of the earth! For I am God, and there is no other.” -Isaiah 45:22