Tartin Mop: Bonfire Blessings

Dear regulars and friends of Ichabod Chapel,

I know you have not heard much from me lately. As your minister, I now have 27 churches to cover, and much of my time is spent attempting to sell disused buildings, a ministry which I find strangely comforting.

I am next able to take a service at Ichabod Chapel in 8 weeks’ time. I think that should take us to early November. Now we really ought to do a little outreach seeing as our numbers are so low. I have found that having 'services of special blessing' a great way of getting new people in. As Bonfire Night will be approaching, I thought it would be good to invite our friends and neighbours to church on Sunday 3rd of November to bless their boxes of matches. If everyone can please bring a box of matches, I will go round and bless them. I will then preach a three-minute sermon on fire safety. Also, bring some fireworks, and I’ll bless them, too. Oh, and for those who are having actual bonfires, perhaps each member can bring a chunk of wood, a log or an old pallet which I shall bless in the special service. Anyone who will be using the bonfire to get rid of bulky waste which they cannot be bothered to take to the Council tip is also welcome to bring it for special blessing as well: rolls of unwanted carpet, stained mattresses, broken settees, vats of chip fat, drums of old engine oil, etc. If you can burn it, I can bless it!

Christianity is so relevant today! I expect a full chapel! So bring your old rubbish and come and be blessed! We’ll all burn together.

Yours Wokely,

Rev Dr Ms Alana Denmars (she/hers),

Ichabod Chapel, Tartin Mop