St Mary’s Church, Threlkeld

St Mary’s Church at Threlkeld in Cumberland must have the least promising exterior that I have ever seen. The bell tower is more like an industrial chimney stack than something attached to a place of worship, having no architectural beauty and being entirely concealed by an ugly, grey render. It is topped by several pointed but graceless pinnacles which resemble some semi-toothless, cadaverous carnivore’s unsightly gnashers.  

One’s impression improves as one goes around the side towards the entrance, and the internals themselves are rather pleasant, in keeping with the late eighteenth-century’s high regard for taste and elegance (the current church was constructed in the 1770s). Neat panelling, interesting stained glass, well-apportioned windows: all belie the external front’s claim to be the ugliest church in Britain.

St Mary’s occupies one of the oldest religious sites in Cumberland so I was relieved when I found beauty inside ugliness. Sometimes, however, humans are the opposite. They are attractive and well-groomed, but their personalities are bitter and their company distasteful. We are all growing older and wearing out, losing what attractiveness we ever had: hair relinquishes colour or its hold on our heads; skin wrinkles or sags, eyes lose their sparkle and gain cataracts. Our characters, however, remain under our own control. We can choose to be kind, generous, discreet and considerate, or otherwise. If you feel melancholic at the thought of your appearance, determine to make others happy by what you are on the inside, and how you deal with them. Better to be an ugly St Mary’s of Threlkeld than a promising St Mary’s of Muker. 

As a jewel of gold in a swine's snout, so is a fair woman which is without discretion. Proverbs 11:22

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